Emperor Penguin (Retired)

The EMPEROR PENGUIN is the largest of all the penguin species and is notable for its black head and back, white belly, and bright yellow ear patches. Unfortunately, our OHM penguin never grew beyond short and stout, and so he has developed a complex -- an overcompensation, you might say -- a somewhat troubling interpretation of the word "emperor."

Yes, this OHM penguin is fond of wearing a bicorne hat, imperial epaulets, and military tailcoat. He also obsessively slips his flipper inside his waistcoat, perhaps to settle his tummy from an overabundance of fish, or to scratch an itch from wearing an awkward uniform, or to look intimidating and mysterious.

The Emperor is known to stride -- waddle -- to and fro across his domain -- iceberg -- barking orders for battle formations at the albatross and seals.

They say he's a genius: conquered half of Antarctica until one day his port-a-potty fell over into the sea with him inside. That was his Waterloo.

Yet the Emperor is undaunted, and he plots his return to glory from this iceberg exile. For all the unbroken spirits and undeterred heroes that strive every day to rise above the challenge to more incredible achievement -- perhaps that means you too -- the Emperor Penguin is your inspiration, never to give up.

And size does NOT matter.