Pirate Gnome

Avast ye landlubbers and take heed for we be pirates, outlaws of the sea and are demanding tribute as is befitting our position. We be looking for new recruits; eager, willing and accepting of the fact that they be nothing to us bar deck scrubbing bilge scum. Those fitting the profile or who otherwise support our cause for world domination are encouraged to wear the Mark of the Pirate. Those found lacking may be subject to the plundering of your homes and the stealing of your silver (beads).
September the 19th marks international Talk Like a Pirate Day! While we understand that everyone feels the temptation to don an eye patch, long leather boots and kidnap the nearest parrot, we also appreciate that practicalities may prevent this. OHM Pirate Gnome is the perfect discrete (for a Pirate) companion. Argh!